The Gippy Pages


My wife is a dork

Dec 2, 2004 | Life | By Shawn Parker

Got a phone call from my wife this afternoon. She was pretty frantic and upset. She had gone to lunch, come back to the office, worked for a while and was getting ready to head out to a dentist appointment. It was then that she realized that she could not find her purse or her keys.

Now, I have to admit that at this point my reaction was mixed. I was concerned because it is a huge undertaking to take care of everything that you lose when you lose a wallet or a purse, not to mention keys. But there was a part of me that was upset because I had finally found time to bury myself in coding a website. I quickly got over it, it was a fleeting thought, but I still thought it…

Anyway. Since we just have the one vehicle I had to scrounge a ride from a co-worker. Not too hard to do and Linda was a good sport about it despite being frantic at work herself (she’s got some pretty huge undertakings and isn’t getting much help where she needs it – from upper management).

I arrive at the wife’s workplace and check to make sure her stuff isn’t in our truck. It is not. So I go to meet her upstairs. The responses of her co-workers when I show up give me an idea of what I’m in store for. She comes out from the back (I’m not allowed to walk around unescorted) and she’s visible frazzled. She’d been running around for about 45 minutes at this point just frantic about not being able to find her purse.

We go back to her cube and she shows me that she’s looked everywhere, she even has her iPod which she stows in her purse whenever she leaves somewhere. She mentioned having taken out her iPod during lunch so there was the possibility of her having put it in a pocket instead of her purse and that she accidentally left her purse at the restaurant.

She thought to call the cell phone in her purse but we could not hear anything. I have a habit of putting the phone on vibrate so it is no surprise to me that we don’t hear anything.

At this point we’re getting ready to head out to the Olive Garden where she had lunch to go rattle some cages over there and see if she left it. This is when I notice that her cabinet drawer is locked – you have to have the key to lock it. So there’s another clue that she may not have come back with it, but her co-workers say that they remember seeing her with it when they came back from lunch.

Now, I’m pretty stubborn and often times do things just to satisfy my curiosity even though they may seem like longshots. I want to see what is in the drawers. We call up the building manager and he picks the lock.

At this point, you’ve probably already guessed that the purse was in there with her keys.

I am married to a dork

With filing cabinets like these, the smaller models that fit under desks, it is possible to lock them if you don’t open the lock all the way. If you don’t open the lock all the way and then slap shut a drawer, the latch can drop back down and lock the drawer. In this case it was bad since the drawer contained the keys.

I can’t really say that this story has a point other than mocking my wife, the dork, but it is fun to tell. I feel a bit sorry for her though – she got all worried and frantic, I was there to move the truck off the premises in case someone got into the office and stole her keys, we didn’t want such a person to figure out where the truck was and take it, and she had half the office involved in one form or another. Quite an afternoon to say the least and it gives me blackmail material… ok, just a reason to mock her… for a while to come.

This should balance out the karma scales for when I spaced out on the way to go pick her up after work and drove right by her building. She had been standing outside and could hear me drive by (the truck has a very distinctive sound). It took a while to live that down. Maybe this escapade will make that go away…

Tagged as: wife, marriage, memory